Based off of how many times I post on this blog, I do not consider myself an avid writer. But here I am, slowly grinding out another post to please my audience. I’m kidding, only mostly. No but really, I have been experiencing writer’s block but also just enjoying my life as it plays out day by day. I am grateful to have the opportunity to share my thoughts, dysfunction and (little) experience with whoever wishes to read.
As I have communicated in my other blog posts, this year has been a doozy for me. Only normal!!! Many people experience these tough seasons in this breath taking thing called LIFE. And really and truly it does take your breath away sometimes… In the midst of beautiful, gratifying, jaw dropping moments that we never would aspire to forget or let go of… or those life-sucking moments where you feel as if you absolutely cannot go on anymore.
My overarching theme throughout all of my blog posts would hopefully display my heart in that we go through all of these life occurrences together. If there is one important principle I have learned in my short life, especially in this past year, it is that we cannot do life alone. Yes, I will be writing about a topic that might be over exhausted and replayed over and over, especially in the Christian realm. But let. me. tell. YOU! I am a person who used to not enjoy being around people at all, they exhausted me, I had severe social anxiety, I forced myself to blend in to what I surrounded myself with and not be transparent at all. I spent many years of my life being very lonely and learning how to succumb to what I was going through alone and sucking it all in. I lacked the ability of seeking authentic relationships, where I could take that mask off and really open up and be myself. Most of this had to do with insecurities and internal self loathing, not the actual relationships themselves. My perception of being in relationship with people was so distorted because of all the guards that were up.
When I FINALLY got to a place where I could fight through the anxiety, doubt and pride— I ripped off my mask. And you know what I discovered? 1,000% of the time, people were going or had gone through similar struggles as me. I strongly believe in Jesus, I strongly believe in Therapy, I strongly believe in independence as an individual as well. But if you are too insecure or prideful about opening up with the people you consider to be in your “circle”, the only person who will continue to be incapacitated is you. I have seen that firsthand in my own life and the lives of those I care deeply about.
Isn’t it funny that we just want others to automatically know what is wrong with us, without us even verbally communicating it? I know girls can definitely relate to this. Sorry, I am exposing all of us!! But, unfortunately we have not mastered the art of reading minds!?!?! So until that happens, I guess we need to settle for interacting with people on a deeper level and actually ask questions, get to know them past what comes off the surface. Writing all of this down still brings so much healing to me, I have realized all over again how powerful this truth is. Freedom and healing come when we are candid with people. Unfortunately this might have the potential to backfire, especially when the people you open up to do not care for your well-being. From my experience, that has only taught me and encouraged me to find those faithful people who do truly care. Every interaction with a leader, friend, family member may not be perfect… I will go ahead and tell you that now, if you have not figured that out. There is something about just being honest with people that will bring restoration to YOUR health. Us doing so, should not always be dependent on the other person’s reaction.
If you are a person who hates putting your issues on display for someone else to see, like I do, then I challenge you to find at least one trustworthy person in your life you can open up to. Use this as a stepping stone in the healing process for you. And you never know, you might be helping that other person by unlocking your story. Now, if you are the person that is on the receiving end of this conversation, if someone who struggles with this is opening up to you — BE HONORED! Tread lightly as they talk to you, be present, be available. Ensure that every word (less is more) that comes out of your mouth is coated with love and acceptance. People cling to people who care. Let’s fight for more authentic communication with each other, let’s not shy away from opening up because of our differences. You will be surprised by how much we are all so similar if you just open up and listen up! Your story is important, your struggle is important, you are important!!!
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